Hey all. I’m sorry it’s been so long. I haven’t really had any urge to write at all, not that I have been that busy but, yeah writing has just not been something I’ve been interested in.
I’ve lived here for over a month now and things are going good for the most part.
I’ve tried working at a cafe, as work practice, but that didn’t work out for me, it felt a bit to public. So now I have been assigned another “job” where I work with furniture and small decorations, painting them etc, so they can get put into the store and sold. Which is okay, it’s a small place with only 4-5 people there at most and it’s good practice for me to get up, do something and figure out how much I am comfortable with working and such.
Other then that I have been working on getting my butt out of the house. I’ve been to the city a few times, alone, taking the buss, going shopping, having some coffee and just sitting outside looking around 😛
I’ve gone out for coffee with a friend at a cafe, I’ve been out on a pub a couple of times and just doing “singles” stuff I guess.
Visitied family, gone for dinners at their house, celebrated some birthdays and ya, just normal stuff I guess.
My last therapy-session my therapist said I was getting better and better, and I have now apparently gotten rid of my social anxiety disorder. While you can’t snap your fingers and say, HEY it’s now vanished, I can agree that I have become a hell of a lot better with that type of anxiety and don’t have much issues wandering around the city, taking buses and things like that.
On the 19th I finally get back into a group, therapy group, it will be going on once a week, for up to two years. How long I will need to use this group is unknown, but I am so happy that I can finally get back to a group, it’s been a way to long wait.
While I am getting to a very good and happy place, I still feel I have some way to go. Today I am feeling really low, super anxious. I am not always that good at making decisions, and I do things I sometimes regret, as we all do. But sometimes those decisions are hard to live with, in the fear of those decisions coming straight back at you, biting your ass. I am not going into anything right now, as some things I’d like to keep private but, yeah, feeling a bit of a dumb-ass today, which is probably why I actually managed to start writing up a post.
But I have had a good day until I really sat down, in the silence, alone. I’ve been celebrating my nephews birthday, it was nice. After that I got home, sat outside on my porch and enjoyed the sun. Hopefully I won’t keep you waiting another month for the next post, I am sorry I did not keep you updated 🙂