Bah, I’m starting to get annoyed that I opened up the door to my emotions now, so fucking exhausting. I know, it was an important step to recovery, lack of emotions doesn’t work.
I’m crying. The lump in my throat is big, my stomach it hurts. Tomorrow I go to moms, will it help? Will I make sense of things? Will everything miraculously seem clear?
Meh, I have my doubts. I have hopes, but big doubts. I’m sad for me, I am sad for Eirik, I am sad for Nemo.
I try to think, “don’t go around thinking so much about the stuff that’s happening, just wait till you have left, no point wasting time on these thoughts right now.” But that is just impossible.
I’m confused, what am I doing? Am I an idiot? Sometimes you get stuck in a circle of bad thoughts, and think, damn, this is just bad.
Then all good things pop up and all the bad stuff you thought about is gone.
I know this doesn’t make much sense to you all, or maybe you can just fill in the blanks yourself.
I’m just trying to focus on something. Something other then tears.
Okay, back, I decided to do something else then being a cry baby and fix my face! I’m going to dinner at 17.00 so I can’t go there looking like a pile of barf!
Here I am getting ready, yeah I sit in the livingroom when I put my face and hair on 😛 I’m lazy that way, I need to sit, rather than stand while doing my hair, cause, LAZY! One side curled, one side fluffy and yeah horrible 😛 Thank god for magical devices like a hair straightener! Yep, I use the straightener for curling my hair, imagine that.
Tada, my face is ready to eat food!
I was going to wear an orange dress today, but heh it was to big. Lost a bit to much weight and I looked like an anorectic skeleton. So the puppy blouse is on 😛
We have no plans today other then eating dinner and get back home to Nemo to take care of him. Maybe go outside to watch the fireworks as a lot of people shoot up tons of it around here.
I wish you all a Happy New Year, I hope your evening will be filled with lots of love, good food, friends and familiy. Be careful with zhe booze 😛 Don’t do too much stupid shit!
Lot’s of love