This is going to be an incredibly private conversation with myself, but I feel I need to ask myself some questions and see if I can’t come up with some answers.
I’ve been having a lot of thoughts as to how a relationship should or shouldn’t’ be. What kind of relationship you ask? Well the private relationship between you and your partner.
What should we expect to have in this kind of relationship, what is important, what is not? What makes them work in the long run..
There is no magical answer to this, we all have different expectations, wishes and wants. But the society, movies, magazines tells us the magical answer. It has to have lots of sparks, adventure and spontaneity. If the spark isn’t there, you have to hurry up and get it back before doom happens. But is this really true?
I find that the key to a relationship must be based on a good and solid friendship and communication, to be able to make each other laugh, without that, you will have nothing to build on when or if the passion vanishes.
Most likely the passion drifts away slowly but surely, that doesn’t have to be the case for all. But I have never been in a relationship where the desire has been constant along with a friendship. It doesn’t have to be hard to get some desire towards a person, but keeping it might be a whole other deal.
How important is this lust, passion, this drive towards your partner? Is this something that is needed to keep the relationship going? Or is it okay to end up as friends?
The honeymoon phase will always end, and turn into love. But I am unsure, what is love? Is it the friendship, the wish you have to make your partner a happy person? Being able to have the same interests? Accepting the other persons flaws? Or is it the desire towards your selected one. Or does it have to be all of them?
We all want to be desired, and be wanted both as a friend and in the more intimate sense, but is it realistic in the long run that it will be like that till the end of time?
I don’t know, I guess this is something we all have to decide for our self, what is the most important thing for you to become happy, to make your partner happy.
But I do wish that the desire to be close to another person would be there forever, cause I think that it is something that everyone needs, but not everyone is able to get, either because emotional walls or because the feeling is just not there.
What is important to you in a long going relationship?