Late night Blog

I’m in bed right now, waiting for Nemo and Eirik to get home from their walk before sleepy time, and I thought it had been a while since I wrote something up here.

Nothing exciting has happened since last really, same old same. Well, I have had one week break from WoW. BF have been testing a new medicine to see if it helps with his ADD (adhd), second trial now, but no luck. First medicine he tried, he got hit hard by anxiety and loss of the hunger feeling, and just not wanting food. To much negative then positives, so he went on to the second trial of medicine. That didn’t go much better either. In fact, there was no change in the positives at all. He had it worse, he had troubles finding words and making proper sentences and having conversations. He heard things that wasn’t there (hallucinations), and he got extremely bored. His days felt like ages.

So I tried to keep him busy with gaming, we played a lot of Minecraft to try and keep his mind of the stuff he heard, and to make time pass.

Crappy Screenshot, I hadn't actually taken any. Must have clicked the screenshot button by mistake :P
Crappy Screenshot, I hadn’t actually taken any. Must have clicked the screenshot button by mistake πŸ˜›

And he went to the doctor again today, and they decided to take him off the medicine, of course! His third and probably last trial will begin next Monday, we hope those will work. But since Eirik are getting the rarest of side effects, we are skeptical, especially to these medicines as they can give some sort of psychosis. Let’s just say, we don’t want that to happen.

So if these medicine wont work, I think we are done testing, and will live a happy life with him just having ADD. It’s not a must to use medicine anyways, he can function without, as many do. We just hoped there were some that would work, to make things a bit easier for him, and for me.

As for me, I skipped therapy this Monday, I just didn’t want to go. Not that I was filled with anxiety or anything like that. It was just like a brick wall that said “No, not going today”.

That annoys me, I have met that wall before, when working. Some days I just can’t fight that “lazy thing” that says no. I don’t quite understand it. I am not scared of going anymore, not as I used to anyways. The shakes are gone, the sweating and shaking. The tummy is still screaming “hells to the noes” though but, all in all, it’s okay to leave for therapy now. So I don’t understand why, sometimes I just don’t go. Is this laziness ? Or is this also some sort of anxiety that forces me to stop?Β 

Does anyone else that has anxieties and depression face this issue sometimes? Or am I only lazy? Is this a normal thing?

I talked to Eirik about it, and while he don’t want me to stay at home and not go, he says that it’s probably just normal for those in my position. I am probably not the only one who has called early in the morning saying they aren’t coming today.

At least I didn’t make up some lame excuse saying I woke up with a fever, I called and said I wasn’t coming and that was it.

But I shall go again tomorrow. I promised myself that I would.

WoW and YouTube

Other then that, I ventured back into WoW today, signed up for raid tomorrow as we are doing the current content, yay! That is going to be exciting.

I am also thinking about getting back into making a few videos for YouTube again. Only a few, I am really exhausted these days so better not overdo it. But I have been pondering about it for a little while. And today I got a pleasant surprise as one of my guild members, Grim, he told me he had a friend who had actually seen my videos. Small world. My viewer base is pretty small, so that he had a friend that knew of me was pretty fun. And his friend sent his hello through Grim. But I told him to get his friend to msg me instead, so we could have a chat.

So his friend, Terrify – also a warlock, sent me whisper in game and we had a little chat, that was really nice. And it really did make my day, to hear that some random person had seen my videos and enjoyed them. And I guess he was really surprised as well, that Grim, his friend, was in a guild with me. A random girl he had seen on a tiny channel on YouTube. As he had almost just come back to WoW, I gave him a few pointers in how to gear up, and he suggested a game for me to try out πŸ™‚ So I guess I met a new WoW buddy ^^

Tomorrow is a new day of therapy and a meeting with a new doctor. I need to change my anti depressant medicine, so we will see how that goes. Wish me luck, and thanks for the visit!



4 thoughts on “Late night Blog

  1. You are not lazy. I can confirm that it is entirely due to your illness. You WILL have days where your response to everything is just “Nope”. Even when you are much better, it will happen occasionally. Just accept it and don’t worry about it. Don’t let it set you back. Especially this early into your treatment, it is not unusual at all. It is totally a normal thing.

    You are cool and strong and you will be fine.



  2. Good to hear from you again Missy. It’s good that you say you’re going again tomorrow, because I think it was really good for you. I skip exercising for no reason sometimes too. Not the same thing. But your mind just tells you ‘not today’ and that’s it. Hope things go well tomorrow.


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