Intensive therapy started today, my first session. I did get a bit nervous before I went today, and very nervous when I arrived. Thankfully I met one of the therapists as I got out of the car and I walked with her to the room where we were going to sit.
Entering that room was very scary, none of the people from my previous group was there, so it was all new faces. But the most uncomfortable thing was the way we were seated, we were all seated in a ring, and I found that very scary. Usually you have the comfort of a table in between you, but here we were face to face with nothing in between and it really made me uneasy.
I had no idea how this meeting was going to work, we are going to have 3 different meetings each week where we do different things. On Mondays we discuss different topics, today’s topic was anxiety. It was a hard topic to start with, we all felt really vulnerable, having to open up about one of our biggest issues.
The way this group works is that some people are familiar with each other, while some are totally new, we all start the group at different times, so some might almost be finished with this group, some have a few weeks left, and some, like me have just entered the group. This means some have the comfort of seeing familiar face, while I do not. Which makes it easier to talk for some then others.
But I did well, I actually did talk a bit, and shared some things. I made the group laugh as well, which is nice.
But it is also sad, you hear stories which can be hard to listen to, we are all there for the same thing, but we all have different backgrounds and it’s not always easy to listen to some peoples stories, you get sad and really feel for them.
I am very happy I joined though, it is nice to hear what other people share, feel and think, nice to know you are not alone. And meetings like this, really gather your thoughts. I mean, I can think about my issues all day long, but they often get scrambled and mixed up with other thoughts. But if you talk about the issues, you focus your attention fully on the issue, rather then mixing it up with other things. You will see things a bit more clearly.
Wednesday is the second day, that is the day we will visualize our feelings into drawings or painting, getting our feelings out with art. That is something I am very excited about, hopefully that will be a bit more relaxing type of therapy. Because today was really draining.
As soon as the therapist said the session was over, my head just felt like it was to explode. I had a headache just pounding my head, felt like it was going to blow up.
Some people think that talking for 1 hour and 30 minutes is no big deal, but until you sit there and spill your guts, listening to all the stories, really digging into your own mind, you wont know. 3 days a week is really going to be exhausting for me.
But I am on the way!!!