Am I a self absorbed douche?

Here’s what I am thinking. Thoughts I have touched on before.
Over the last year I have gotten myself some good hobbies. I blog, I make gaming videos, I vlog, started to draw and we can’t forget that I also do play games.

But I got to admit, I want to have that one thing that I do well, I mean very well.  Don’t we all wish that?


How can I write this without sounding like a self absorbed douche…

I don’t want to become a famous person , that’s not what I mean  but I do have a desire to earn myself a decent following, with some descent traffic. Whether it be because of blogging /drawing or because of Youtube. But I know that is something that wont happen, it is not realistic to expect to get a few thousand of followers with blogging anymore, not in this genre, especially not the way I write. Since I write to much random, and too little specifics.

What is hindering me in getting traffic to the blog?
– Not enough content
– Don’t write to regularly
– To varied content, not specific enough and to personal
– Bad writer
– Indecisive –  changed blogs a few times, change theme too often

It is probably possible on Youtube, but to be perfectly honest, can I really be a sort of YouTube personality? The slow growth I have been having, may be because of a couple or reasons that I can think of.
– I am not fit for making videos when it comes to personality
– I don’t work hard enough, not consistent
– I pick wrong games
– Don’t promote myself well enough
– And in the end not motivated enough

But in a way I guess I have reached a goal in some manner. Because of the NBI a lot of people do know of my name in some sense, I do join in on a lot of the blogging activities so I shall not be negative.

But I wish to find that burning desire and motivation, to gather more focus into a thing.
Yes this is all hobbies, this is all for fun. But I want to get more sense of accomplishment. Is that a bad thing?

While these are just thoughts that comes to mind sometimes, I am really interested in finding one thing I want to give more focus too. Not be okay at many things, but good at one thing. That is what I wish for.

So time to sit down, think, write pros and cons for different hobbies and see what it’s best for me to focus most on.

On another note, I did a guest post today. I was invited, probably as many others 😛 heh, but still I was invited to write a post, and I accepted. It’s a nice way to get my name around and good practice to write a bit better. It is a new blog but, still, good fun for me.

If the post is good or not, meh, I don’t know. I felt it was pretty much “me”, in the sense that it’s pretty much a post I would write here.

Post is here.
I write a bit about WoW, being casual, and ask if the game has become to casual.

Thanks for taking the time to stop by.



6 thoughts on “Am I a self absorbed douche?

  1. I feel like I’m a little to late to the comments, but this post really struck a chord with me. I have been going through a similar situation. I have all these hobbies, and am nearing the end of my undergraduate degree. Yet, I still feel I have not found my passion, that one thing that I get up in the morning for, the thing that drives my every decision and gives me purpose. I wish I had some great advice for you, but all I can really say is follow what you love and I think your passion will find you. As you pursue your hobbies maybe one or a combination of a few will eventually jump out and say “Look over here Missy! I am your passion. I’ve been waiting for you to see me.” Good luck on your journey!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Never to late to comment! Thank you, I hope one day I hear that sentence 😛 But then again, maybe I have found my passion, I just haven’t understood it yet! 😀 Thanks for stopping by and following !

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This might have been made a day or two to early. I think it would have been very relevant for Blaugust. Something I definitely can relate to.
    I wish you the best of luck on trying to make it work, as I’ll be doing the same.


  3. I don’t think wanting recognition and a bit of a following makes you a self-absorbed douche. Seems natural to me.

    I think you have a great personality for videos, and I really enjoy your vlog-type videos. The difficulty (in my humble and biased opinion) is a focus on Lets Plays. There are just so many of them out there and its hard to compete with the big personalities like Markiplier. I, personally, am terrible at Lets Plays. You’d have more fun watching paint dry. So I really don’t know what the secret to creating that kind of content and having people want to watch it is.

    Liked by 1 person

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