Exciting, I know!

I know I am neglecting the blog a bit. I haven’t had much to say or share I guess. Sometimes we have the urge to write, other times we don’t.

Reasons might be because I am not super involved into any particular game at the moment.
And I am not the kind of “nerd” that read about tons of games and get super excited and dig into all the info there is.

So I end up with not writing I guess.

Recently picked up Heavensward – ffxiv.

Just playing an hour here an hour there on Cactuar where the blogger gang is.
I feel it’s hard to really dig into the game because I don’t see me going into any end game conent, and that is usually what I look forward to. But as I often have lags I don’t feel I can join in with things like that anyways. I would just be more of an annoyance to the team then help. So yeah, I just dabble alone mostly, leveling my lowbie Miqote.


I did try the new race, Au Ra, I adored her, but in the end the horns just got to me. They started to annoy me so I reverted back to a kittycat as I had some potions left over since I made the character.


My goal is to get to one of the new classes, the new healer – Astrologian. I have no idea how they work, but I love healing so I have to try it.

I also want to try and get the new tank – Dark Knight, they wield big ass swords, so yeah, I have to try that.
The Machinist, which is the third new class doesn’t really interest me. It uses some sort of guns and I don’t really like using guns when there are other options.
I am still doing my youtube thing. 
It’s going okay I guess. I have my doubts from time to time if it’s something I should continue with or not. But hopefully that doubt will back off soon. I have had a period where I have felt very good about the things I do. But sometimes I just feel it’s a waste of my time and others.
I guess I just find that I am not an entertaining person, and have doubts that people will watch.
Got to remember why I started with it in the first place, but it’s easy to forget.
I just have such a hard time getting involved in things, and really dig into it. Make it become a part of me and my daily life. I don’t know where to get my inspiration from, how to get creative. They say creativity is something you can teach yourself over time, I am just struggling with it right now.
(shameless promoting my channel on blog)
Also think it has something to do with my depression. As I mentioned I have had a good period now over the past few months, but this last week has been a hard one. I have struggled to just get out of bed and try to do anything. Often I have gone to bed around 6 oclock and just slept a few hours, because I didn’t want to be awake.
I think I might have to have a hard think about my channel, maybe switch it up a bit with more personal things rather then gaming. Seems people enjoy my random things more then my gaming things, and I do enjoy doing vlogs as well, so why not.
As I have mentioned before, I have been thinking about restarting my channel, but I have worked hard to get the little bunch of viewers I have now, so I am still undecided about that.
One tiresome thing about Youtube is that it feels like a horrible game, people run around, subscribing to get a sub back. Watching a minute of the video just to have a comment to say, some don’t even watch and write down generic comments like: Great Video, check out my channel. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
For one, it makes me feel that what I am doing is totally useless and that my content sucks, it fucks up my retention on my videos because people watch 2 seconds of my video and moves on, which means my ranking gets even worse then it was.
I hate that game, and I don’t want to be apart of it. I watch the whole video when I go around commenting, I say what I liked in the video, give a like and move on. If I don’t like it, I move on to some other channel I like instead. Generic comments and sub for sub is just a fucking annoyance.
Yes I sub for people I know who have subbed for me, because I KNOW THEM, and want to support and watch them. THAT is totally different.
Sorry, I just had to get that out, been annoying me for quite some time. Because you can’t avoid it, it’s everywhere.


We got shrimps! TINYTINY shrimps. We bought a tiny tank, and 6 shrimps. And we suddenly had 7 shrimps, so there was a baby too!
Sadly one shrimp died today, hopefully it was an old shrimp and no disease.  Exciting I know. Shrimps 😛 Well I think they are a funny bunch that just crawl and swim around. Hopefully there will be many baby’s!

2 thoughts on “Exciting, I know!

  1. I feel the same way with my blogging sometimes–that I don't really have much to write about because real life is busy, or I just didn't play any games and instead wanted a few nights of TV shows, or whatever.

    The shrimp are adorable!!

    And I know exactly how you feel about the YouTube. I feel the same way sometimes–even about my blog. And it really is the depression and anxiety. But know that you're not alone, and I'm always here to talk if you hit that slump. ❤


  2. Chestnut, you are so sweet and kind 🙂 Thanks so much! You can always send me a pm too! Don't be afraid to ask/talk. Just remember that blogging is for fun, and if you're not feeling it, don't write.


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