Mentalisation Based Therapy.

Alright, let’s talk about my group therapy!

Sorry I haven’t updated much about that, I did write about it in my Norwegian blog but wasn’t sure you guys would be interested or not.

First group-therapy session was this Tuesday. And it went pretty well actually. I had gotten a phonecall the day before, telling me that I needed to come half an hour earlier because I needed to meet with one of the therapists to talk about their first group session. I missed one because I hadn’t gotten a spot yet, so they wanted to update me.

This made me nervous, I had been preparing myself for the meeting at 12 oclock, but suddenly I needed to come half an hour earlier and that shook me up heh. It doesn’t take much to get me off balance. 

But I arrived half an hour earlier to meet up with the guy, he wasn’t completly ready when I came as he was munching his lunch. So I had to wait outside the door for him to finish, even though I was nervous, that did make me laugh. 

A minute later he was done and he almost jumped out his office door, he didn’t realise I was standing there so it was like he almost tripped out the door because he was trying to rush. It was a great start because we all started laughing.

We talked for 30 minutes and we went over to the group in another building. They were all there, yay, scary indeed.

We talked a lot about Mentalisation.

Yes that was the group I chose, or we chose. Mentalisation Based Therapy.

What is that you ask, let’s see what Wiki has to say about it, because I can’t explain it:

MBT was designed for individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), who suffer from disorganised attachment and allegedly failed to develop a mentalization capacity within the context of an attachment relationship.
We talked about how we perceive other people, how we perceive what they are saying and how they are acting. 

That there are good ways to do this and bad ways.


A man walks past you, he looks really grumpy, walking fast, looking at you like there is something wrong with you..

Now some would think this man is only a grumpy old dude, that would be the wrong way to see things. Because we should not judge by first impression like that.

For all we know he might be going through something at that point, he might be scared, he might have lost his job, or come from the doctors and gotten bad news. There are many explanations as to why he is acting and looking the way he does.

The bottom line is, we cannot read minds, we do not know what other people are thinking. 

And that is what we are working on, to change how we interpret things. I think people think negatively of me, but how the hell do I actually know this ? I don’t! 

We also look at our selves. Like, how do I act?

If I sit there, being a shy and scared individual, with a body language of a person who pity’s herself, how will people see me ? Well they will start to see me, just the way I do because that is the signals I give out. Sort of like a mirror I guess.

We talk about how easy it can be to misunderstand people, if we mentalise in the wrong ways, it can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and arguments.

Some people might act negative, but that might just be because they are feeling bad about something. Let’s say you talk to your mother, saying you are having a hard time, you are depressed. Well mom might get upset about that herself, blaming her self that you are depressed. She might get angry cause she feels bad, instead of listening to you and trying to help you.

So don’t judge, don’t see things in black and white, don’t be so assertive, these are all things that can lead to bad mentalisation.

Try to be open minded, try to remember there might be reasons you are not aware of that leads to a person acting certain ways. We all have our own experiences, we will react differently, we are different.

Anyways, that is the basics of it. I hope you get what I am trying to write down, not that easy to translate.

Strange thing is though after blogging in Norwegian a while, I actually feel like I have become better at writing in English then in my own language. 

The group went very well, I survived it. I did have my moments with the shakes. I tried drinking some coffee in the 5 minute break we had, but my head was shaking so bad I had trouble trying to sip that damn coffee. But ey, that’s okay, we were all nervous.


8 thoughts on “Mentalisation Based Therapy.

  1. This all sounds like a very common sense and practical means of therapy. I sincerely hope you find it beneficial.

    Keep writing in both languages, because people like to know how things are progressing, plus it seems like it has a therapeutic value.


  2. *hugs* Have they got you doing any diary type things?

    Also, of course we care! Wanna know how you're getting along. ❤ The thing with personal blogs is that non-bloggers don't necessarily think to comment. They read a post, know how you're doing, continue onwards. Doesn't mean they aren't reading or don't care. Buuuut it does mean that you should write here more because we wanna know tooooo! 😉


  3. Well, we don't have a diary, but we do get one assignment each week. Last week were were to interview someone we knew, about how their day was, and trying to dig a bit and listen in a non judgemental way. This week we are suppose to note down a situation during the week where my mentalisation might be weakened or failing. Like, if I misunderstand people or something like that 🙂 And then write what I did wrong.


  4. Yeah it's very common sense, and in theory I know all this. But it's that part of the brain that I don't control that acts out in the wrong way, the subconscious takes over and I do things I don't even know I am doing, I interpret things without having control.

    Thank you for stopping by Mr Edwards! 😀


  5. Interesting. 🙂 With the last one we did something similar, but after what we did wrong, we added the correct way to do/think – what we perhaps could have done differently. I found that last bit most important because it helped me to reshape my thoughts in the right direction.


  6. Well we are going to discuss our experiences next session. And there was 3 other groups or so, very very similar to the one I am going to now, they might be doing the same you did. I didn't even understand the difference in the groups but apparently there was 😛


  7. Hey Missy. I admire how open you are about this. Hold on with the therapy. Don't change too much, just get more comfortable with yourself and accept yourself. Often that helps. Just become who you are, not who others want you to be.I will keep checking this blog and your English is wonderful. Take care!


  8. Thank you 🙂 And such a nice surprise you came to visit 🙂
    The therapy wont change my personality, it will just bring it forth, because right now a lot of it is hiding behind the anxiety. So I am not scared of the change, I will just become a better me, a confident me 🙂


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